Friday, October 25, 2013


I recently made the decision to wean from pumping for Meeghan. I have been exclusively pumping for her since she was born. She is 10 days away from turning 11 months old. It has been a long 11 months of hooking up to a pump. Those first few months I was pumping every 2.5 to 3 hours to match her feeding schedule. I was getting very little sleep between pumping and then feeding. I was a complete bitch due to sleep deprivation. I feel bad that I wasn't the best mom to Hannah at the time. Thankfully every one was understanding. Today I dropped to 2 pumps a day. Until a month ago I was pumping every 6 hours. I hope to be completely finished by the time she is one. I am taking it slow so I don't get clogs. I have been lucky and only had 1 clog in the past, but I make sure to drop a pump slowly so my body can adjust. It will be weird not dragging all my pumping stuff with me if we are going out for the day. I became a pro at hooking up to the pump while in the car or public place. I have had to pump in public restrooms, and I will be glad that I won't have to do that again. Good things have come from my sleep sucking pumping months. I privately donated to two mothers while in Texas. I also donated to the Milk Bank of Austin to feed premature babies. In total I donated between 1400 and 1500 ounces of milk. When we moved, I had around 2500 ounces in my freezer (which survived the move). I have enough to feed Meeghan until she is one and a few months after that. That makes it worth it. I do feel guilty though. I don't know why I feel such extreme guilt over stopping, but I do. Meeghan will have milk for a few more months. Part of it is knowing how much she loves her bottle of milk. She makes the sign for milk to let me know she is ready for a bottle. She gives me the biggest grin when I hand the bottle to her. She loves her milk! I gave that to her. It makes me feel good to know how much she loves it even if she isn't getting it directly from the tap. Deep down, I know I am ready and I am making the right decision. A month ago I almost cried when I thought about stopping. Now the majority of the time I am giddy when I think about stopping...that is until Meeghan makes the milk sign and gives me her squishy-face grin. Mom Guilt is such a vicious, evil cycle.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Race for the Cure

On Saturday, E and I participated in Race for the Cure here in Jacksonville.  It was crazy how crowded it was, and how people can't follow directions. Anyway, E runs at a much faster pace than I do, but he chose to stay with me. I think it was killing him to run slow. I told him to go on without me, but he said no. He had run 17 miles the day before, and he was pushing the double stroller (the only double I saw), so I guess it was enough to keep him at my pace (although after he saw the results I think he was mad he didn't run at his pace because he may have placed in the top 3 of his age group.) Despite having to dodge all the walkers who started at the front of the pack even though they were supposed to move to the back, I managed a personal best (if you go by chip time). I finished in 30:01 with a pace of 9:39. I shaved 30 seconds off my 5K time. If I go by the Nike app, my 5K time was 28:48 with a pace of 9:15. It also had my fastest mile at 8:51. I like the Nike app times. I thought I was going to die because at one point I was running at a pace much faster than what I am used to, but I held on. The last mile I had to slow down a lot if I was going to make it although now I wonder if I was mentally breaking down. Hannah was starting to get antsy and she wouldn't stop saying mommy. It was hard to concentrate on running and her.  Either way, I am happy. I beat my previous times, and so in my book it was a success. Unfotunately, I didn't take any pictures. Hopefully I can find some online to share. I saw a ton of news stations out and many took pictures of the girls. After the race, we ate about 1000 calories. It was this fun, little restaurant that specializes in biscuits. I had a biscuit with chicken breast and bacon covered in maple syrup. It was delicious. Thank goodness this place is not near my house because I would be there every day.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

First Dentist Visit

That little girl went to the dentist for the first time a few weeks ago. The dentist sure has changed from when I was a kid. This dentist has PSPs, toys, iPads, and a tv in the ceiling for the kids. All I had for entertainment was Highlights magazine. Hannah did great although she was a bit uncertain at times. I was nervous about what they would say since she isn't the best brusher, and it is a fight to let us brush her teeth. She didn't have any cavities, but she does need to floss. Trying to floss the teeth of a 3 year old is not easy. They wanted Meeghan to come back in a few months for her check up. I didn't know babies went to the dentist. She only has two teeth! I guess though they start early. I was told to go for a first visit between 2 and 3 (I was a bit late thanks to moving so much during that time.) I hope the next visit goes as smoothly as this one!

Friday, October 18, 2013

Running (or my version of it)

Saturday I will run in my first competitive 5K since I started this training. E is running with me which means he gets to push the double stroller to slow him down. There is no way I can run at his pace. I am pretty sure I would have a heart attack. I ran my fastest 5K the other day during my weekly training run. I ran a mile in 9:27. I cursed myself the entire time for running that fast. I didn't think I would make it, and I had to slow down, but I did finish the 3 miles in 30 minutes. I usually curse myself during my runs anyway because I wonder why I voluntarily went out to run. However, I do feel myself getting stronger every week. What used to be hard to accomplish is now easy. When I first started, I was happy if I ran a half mile before walking. Then it stretched to three quarters of a mile, and then a mile. I remember the first time I ran two miles without walking I started throwing my hands in the air out of excitement. I am pretty sure the people driving by thought I was crazy. This past weekend I ran 5 miles without walking. I never thought I would see the day. There were times I wanted to walk, but I pushed myself. It is nice to actually feel my body responding to the training. I am going to run a 10K in a few weeks so I can change my corral for the half marathon. Since I didn't have a previous race for proof of time, I will be placed in the last corral. If I run the 10K by December, they will change my corral so hopefully I am not in the back of the pack. That means I can stop a bit more to take pictures and not be picked up for a slow pace. I am not sure if I will ever be a die hard runner, but I do feel healthier and stronger than I did a few months ago.

*Disclaimer: If this post doesn't make sense, I apologize. I was writing it with a 3 year old talking constantly next to me even though I asked for 2 minutes of quiet while she ate her breakfast. My old brain sometimes struggle with multitasking.  

Friday, October 11, 2013

Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party

A few weeks ago we decided to go to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party at Disney World. I have never been to the party so I wasn't sure what to expect. Hannah was so excited to wear her costume and go trick-or-treating. This would be our first time staying in the parks after 6pm with both girls so we weren't sure how it would work. It was great that it wasn't too crowded so we were able to walk onto rides without much of a wait. They had a special parade and fireworks show as well as certain areas where you could collect candy. That was Hannah's favorite part. Unfortunately, it rained which delayed the parade. Hannah was so excited to see the parade and we had to wait almost an hour for the parade to start. She missed the end of the parade because of a bathroom emergency which was my fault. I didn't even think about taking her to the bathroom while waiting for the parade and of course her little bladder couldn't wait. She cried when she found out we missed the end. Luckily, she was able to see Mickey and the gang which meant she saw Minnie in her costume.

Hannah wanted to be a witch just like Minnie so I found this costume online. I am not crafty enough to make a costume on my own. Meeghan is a pumpkin since I needed something that wouldn't be too hot and wouldn't be a pain when changing a diaper. Overall, it was nice that the rides had a short line but I am not sure I would pay the money again. Maybe when they are older and can ride more. We also went to the Food and Wine Festival the next day at Epcot. I will definitely go next year. It was delicious. I loved trying all the different foods. We still joke about driving down there for the day just to eat. 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

10 Months

My baby turned 10 months old on Sunday. She is rapidly approaching toddlerhood. It is scary how quickly they grow. Miss Meeghan is so close to walking, but I am okay if she waits a bit longer. She now has 2 teeth and I think a third is coming in. She is starting to talk a bit more. She can say hi, bye, daddy, mama, boo, dog, Hannah, whoa, and ow. Granted, she doesn't say all those words on a consistent basis, but she does say them. She also makes the sign for milk, makes the mmm sound when she sees food, and holds phones to her hear to say hi or bye. She is such a nut and is so happy. She makes a face that I call the Popeye face. Supposedly she gets it from me. 
The Popeye face
I want to freeze time. I love this age with kids. They are so excited by everything, they are just starting to walk and talk. They don't talk back yet or run away. It is such a fun time. I didn't appreciate it as much with Hannah because I didn't know what the toddler years would be like. Now I know. I know what it is coming next. I am trying to soak up every last second of this phase before the terrible twos set in and I want to pull all my hair out of my head. 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Mom for Hire

Lately, the biggest argument between E and I would be my lack of employment. He wants me to go back to work so I can help with the bills. I am hesitant because I really want to go to school. I have a degree in biology, but it is a general bio degree which means I don't have enough specialized training for many jobs I am finding. I am also afraid of juggling everything if I am working. I am barely holding it all together and I stay home. If When he deploys, I am on my own. I will be both parents to those girls. I will be the one to stay home if they are sick, shuffle them to appointments, try to spend quality time at home along with everything else that comes in life. I also like being home with the girls. I love the freedom I have. We can decide at the last second to go to the zoo or the park. I don't have to worry about appointments. I can schedule them whenever I want. If E gets home early one day, we can hop in the car and take a fun day trip. That will end if I get a job. However, I am tired of carrying student loans around. I want Hannah in a school environment. She needs it. She is craving it. I try to provide for her here, but she needs teachers and other kids. I am terrified of sending Meeghan to day care, but I guess I would get over it. In the end, I know what I need to do. I need to help dig our family out of this debt and find a job. Let's hope I can find one.