Friday, November 2, 2012

Highs and Lows

I was all set to do a Halloween recap yesterday, and then the crap hit the fan.  My husband has been struggling a bit flying the jets in training.  He thought he had it all figured out until an instructor said he needed just a bit more practice.  That meant a few training flights, which went great, and then a final flight with the CO.  That final flight was yesterday.  It went well except the CO thinks that the husband just can't stay ahead of the jet like he needs to, and so he is recommending my husband be re-designated to another aviation community.  He thinks the husband has great flying skills, but tailhook just ins't his pipeline.  So now we wait.  We wait to see if it is approved.  We wait to see what they give him.  It is a bit scary. Luckily he didn't say you suck and you are out.  He can stay in and fly which is all he wants to do.  He has told me that some days he wishes he had been given his second choice out of primary because he wasn't having fun with the jet.  He knew he was having problems keeping up with the jet.  He didn't want to fly the jets anyway, but the plane he wanted to fly requires the carrier landing training first, and then on to the specific training for the plane.  He is disappointed in himself.  He has never failed before and this has been hard for him to digest.  He isn't sure how to respond to it.  I don't know what to do or say.  He isn't the first to be moved to a different pipeline out of here.  I know of two others in the last few months.  These planes are hard to fly.  I am very grateful he was given the chance out of primary to fly them.  You never know what your skills will be with a plane until you try.  It turns out this just isn't his plane.  Thank goodness the Navy has other types out there.  He is a great pilot.  I know he will be a great pilot for the Navy.  I think in the end he ended up with a confidence issue and that is never good when you are trying to fly the jets.  It sucks, but at least he is still in.  We have no Plan B.

Also yesterday I realized how bad Hannah's separation anxiety has become.  I dropped her off at the CDC for hourly care while at my doctor's appointment.  They said she was upset the entire two hours she was there.  She wouldn't eat lunch, and she fell asleep out of exhaustion.  She cried when I picked her up.  She said she is scared when she is there.  She gets so excited to play with other kids, but she wants me to stay there while she plays.  She went to my neighbor's house for about 30 minutes on Wednesday while I ran an errand, and she had no problems.  I think it was because she was with someone she knows, and Hannah loves playing with their daughter.  She was even upset this morning when I took the dogs for a walk and she had to stay home with her dad.  I am hoping with a lot of time and patience this phase passes.

Thursday did have a bright spot.   I had my 36 week appointment.  When he measured my uterus, he said he could feel the baby's head way down low (which I already knew because I could feel it.)  He decided to do a cervical check since I have been having contractions.  It turns out that I am already dilating.  Not much, just a finger tip.  It took 2 days of mild painful contractions to dilate to 1 with Hannah.  I was a bit surprised.  He told me to start monitoring my contractions.  He is hoping I do make it to 38 weeks which is when he is comfortable continuing labor.  I know that just because I start dilating now doesn't mean I will go into labor tomorrow, but it does make me a bit anxious.  When he checked me, he had no problems feeling the head.  She is right there, and I can definitely feel her.  So I guess I am playing the waiting game now.  I still haven't made my freezer meals nor have I packed my hospital bag.  The people here are throwing a baby shower for me on the 18th.  Hopefully I make it to the 18th otherwise I will be taking the baby to the baby shower.

9 comments:

  1. Separation anxiety is so bittersweet. It stinks b/c your little one gets so upset, but boy does it make you feel loved.


    Good luck with the last few weeks of your pregnancy!

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  2. Hi there! I just wanted to write you a little note to let you know that your husband (and you!) are not alone. My husband finished UPT earlier this year, and there were plenty of 'ups' and 'downs'. We also know and handful of other pilots who experienced similar waves of success and emotions, being 're-assigned', etc.

    Let me start by saying that I understand situations like this are never easy, to deal with or simply digest - no matter how many people tell you 'it'll be okay'. But one thing that greatly helped my husband and friends was talking about it. Of course, talking about it was the last thing any of these pilots wanted to do, but eventually, they did, and it worked. I don't mean talking to their families and wives. All we can do is support them in their decisions, but we will never be able to fully understand what they are going through to be able to give them another point of view. I mean, they needed to talk to their superiors. The flight commanders and instructors. These people were more than happy to speak to their students (privately of course) about the situation they were in. They shared their stories of UPT, their struggles, and how things worked out, and what they liked and didn't like about their own path. They also suggested other instructors to speak with to get their stories. Everyone experienced the same training in such different ways, it was great to get so many perspectives.

    Speaking privately with superiors about their difficulties with training helped everyone I know. Maybe it's knowing that they aren't the only ones experiencing something like this, maybe it's sort of reinforcement that this will work out regardless, I dunno. But I know it can't hurt. And in our experience and friends experience, NEVER once did the superiors treat them differently after speaking with them. I sort of think they may have respected my husband and pilot friends more for being one of the few to open up.

    Well, that was some real-talk right there. I all that came out correctly. And I know saying "it's gonna be alright" is probably the last thing your husband wants to hear right now, but you know what? It probably is gonna be okay.

    Anyway, from one pilot wife to another, I wish you guys all the best, and if you ever want to chat (privately), give me a shout!

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    1. Thanks for your response! He was able to talk the CO, and an instructor a few weeks ago about his problem. The instructor even told him that he thinks the instructors as a whole failed him by not addressing the problem earlier. They all have told him he has great skills, and they could tell he was working hard so hopefully that will help him with the next step. The CO is going to write a letter of recommendation to help him change pipelines.

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  3. What a bittersweet situation for your husband, things will definitely work out for the best. I hope the change goes through for him!

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  4. Hi Angie! Hopped over to your blog after seeing something about Kansas and see you're a Jayhawk fan! My hubs and I both went to KU and are HUGE Jayhawk fans. Anyway, cute blog and little Hannah is just a doll. Congrats on baby #2!

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    1. Yay for Jayhawk fans! I really wanted to go to KU, but I lived on the Missouri side so my parents said I had to stick to a Missouri school.

      Thank you!

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  5. My son seems to be having the same issues with separation. It's frustrating...and I'm sure I'm only making it worse by not forcing him to go places where he's not comfortable. If I take him to childcare, they always call me saying he never calmed down, still crying, etc. so I end up going to get him. I'm so nervous about having this baby because I never leave K and I know it's going to rock his little world :(

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  6. Wishing your husband good luck with his training and hopefully everything will work out for the best. Oh and I hope the best for your daughter and the seperation issues. When kids are so young it's sometimes hard to reassure them that Mommy and Daddy are coming back, and it just takes time to prove it to them. My neice and nephew both went through that stage, and it's tough. Hope you are having a great week though! :)

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  7. Oh my gosh, you are so close! I am so jealous.

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