Highs and Lows

I was all set to do a Halloween recap yesterday, and then the crap hit the fan.  My husband has been struggling a bit flying the jets in training.  He thought he had it all figured out until an instructor said he needed just a bit more practice.  That meant a few training flights, which went great, and then a final flight with the CO.  That final flight was yesterday.  It went well except the CO thinks that the husband just can't stay ahead of the jet like he needs to, and so he is recommending my husband be re-designated to another aviation community.  He thinks the husband has great flying skills, but tailhook just ins't his pipeline.  So now we wait.  We wait to see if it is approved.  We wait to see what they give him.  It is a bit scary. Luckily he didn't say you suck and you are out.  He can stay in and fly which is all he wants to do.  He has told me that some days he wishes he had been given his second choice out of primary because he wasn't having fun with the jet.  He knew he was having problems keeping up with the jet.  He didn't want to fly the jets anyway, but the plane he wanted to fly requires the carrier landing training first, and then on to the specific training for the plane.  He is disappointed in himself.  He has never failed before and this has been hard for him to digest.  He isn't sure how to respond to it.  I don't know what to do or say.  He isn't the first to be moved to a different pipeline out of here.  I know of two others in the last few months.  These planes are hard to fly.  I am very grateful he was given the chance out of primary to fly them.  You never know what your skills will be with a plane until you try.  It turns out this just isn't his plane.  Thank goodness the Navy has other types out there.  He is a great pilot.  I know he will be a great pilot for the Navy.  I think in the end he ended up with a confidence issue and that is never good when you are trying to fly the jets.  It sucks, but at least he is still in.  We have no Plan B.

Also yesterday I realized how bad Hannah's separation anxiety has become.  I dropped her off at the CDC for hourly care while at my doctor's appointment.  They said she was upset the entire two hours she was there.  She wouldn't eat lunch, and she fell asleep out of exhaustion.  She cried when I picked her up.  She said she is scared when she is there.  She gets so excited to play with other kids, but she wants me to stay there while she plays.  She went to my neighbor's house for about 30 minutes on Wednesday while I ran an errand, and she had no problems.  I think it was because she was with someone she knows, and Hannah loves playing with their daughter.  She was even upset this morning when I took the dogs for a walk and she had to stay home with her dad.  I am hoping with a lot of time and patience this phase passes.

Thursday did have a bright spot.   I had my 36 week appointment.  When he measured my uterus, he said he could feel the baby's head way down low (which I already knew because I could feel it.)  He decided to do a cervical check since I have been having contractions.  It turns out that I am already dilating.  Not much, just a finger tip.  It took 2 days of mild painful contractions to dilate to 1 with Hannah.  I was a bit surprised.  He told me to start monitoring my contractions.  He is hoping I do make it to 38 weeks which is when he is comfortable continuing labor.  I know that just because I start dilating now doesn't mean I will go into labor tomorrow, but it does make me a bit anxious.  When he checked me, he had no problems feeling the head.  She is right there, and I can definitely feel her.  So I guess I am playing the waiting game now.  I still haven't made my freezer meals nor have I packed my hospital bag.  The people here are throwing a baby shower for me on the 18th.  Hopefully I make it to the 18th otherwise I will be taking the baby to the baby shower.