Thursday, November 21, 2013

Maid or wife?

Recently E and I had a conversation about how we have changed. I have become frustrated with him the last year. He has become more stereotypical man and I hate it. When Hannah was born, he was in school so he stayed home with her except for the few hours he was in class. I was the one who worked full time. Even though I was the one working full time I still cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked, got up with the baby during the night, and all the other stuff that comes with a household. Most days I would come home to find him playing Call of Duty in his underwear. It didn't bother me too much. I let it go most days. However, now that I am staying home and he works, he feels like he needs to tell me everything that must be done during the day and point out the areas that need work. I feel like he is a dictator. I had to make a chore schedule so he can make sure what days I will do stuff. Just today as he walked out the door, he made sure to mention the bathroom is dirty. I get it. I stay home which means I should take care of the house. Here is the thing that really pisses me off. He is home 90% of the time as well. Do you want to know how many days he has worked this week? One, and that is today. They don't have enough instructors so training is moving slowly. He did study yesterday after he went to the shooting range. He also went to the shooting range a few days before that. Oh, and he decided to go to a movie also. And when he is home, he hides in his office a lot. He will just walk off and play a computer game or watch a movie. I am left to fend for myself. I never thought he would be the guy that says he can't handle being around the kids for too long. He actually told me that he just can't handle them anymore. I feel a bit lost. I know he does stuff around here, but I firmly believe that a house should be cared for by the entire family. I am tired of picking up after another adult. I am tired of planning meals and having noses turn up when I set the table. I am not even sure where I am going with all this. I think I just needed to get it off my chest. I feel like I am stretched too thin. I can't be everything for everyone, can I?


  1. Awww...that is a toughy. Just see if you can talk to him when emotions are not so high. Perhaps find alone time for you and hubby so that you both can get some time away.
    And also, perhaps put together a comprehensive list of all that needs to get done and then divvy it up by who likes to do what.
    My mom always says making things work is not a 50/50 thing. Each person has to give 100% to make it work.

    Take care. Sending virtual hugs your way!

  2. Sometimes I think the guys just don't understand.
    S will leave subtle hints like, "Wow, this floor is really dirty." Why, yes it is. But, there's a 20 month old who demands ALL of my attention when he is awake. So, sweeping and mopping takes a back seat. I also HATE when I get the text (, "what's for dinner?" When I see that pop up on my phone I want to scream. Does it matter what's for dinner? I'm making it with a kid hanging off my leg, and you're going to eat it.
    I hope things get better!
    Sending hugs your way!

  3. This isn't fair at all! I have always told my husband that I am not his maid, I'm his wife and there is a big difference.


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