Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Flying solo
The husband has been away at training for the last week and a half. It feels a lot longer than a week and a half. This is the first time I have been on my own with both girls for more than 12 hours. Sure he had flights or duty that kept him out of the house most of the day so I managed most of the day on my own. However this is the first time I have been alone day and night. It is draining. I don't remember it being this hard when he went to OCS and I was on my own with Hannah. I still have a few days until he comes home and it feels like an eternity. If this is how I feel after two weeks I don't even want to know what a deployment will feel like. I am so tempted to throw the kids at him and run away for a few hours just to have some me time. I am a person that needs me time. I have not had that at all. Even when I try to go to bed, I have a 3 year old or two dogs (or both) in bed with me. I love my kids, but I need some time where it is just me. Although I am tempted to ask him for a day where he has the kids and I disappear, I feel it wouldn't be fair to him. He has been away at SERE. It stands for survival, evasion, resistance, and escape. Basically he learns how to survive if his plane is shot down or crashes in enemy territory. It is required for all pilots and air crew. It is pretty serious training. They are even captured so they know how to handle the situation. I would feel like a complete bitch for leaving the kids with him after enduring all that. When I am exhausted at the end of the night, I tell myself that even though I have gone several rounds with Hannah, it has to be better than what he is going through and at least I am sleeping in a bed. A 3 year old can't be as bad as guys who torture me for information. Right?
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It is TOTALLY fair that you ask him for a day off, when he's back! You're job is just as hard as his!! 24/7 care isn't an easy job by any means!
ReplyDeleteScott is going on an assignment that will have him on the other side of the country for a month. While it will be great for him to do this work it's going to be interesting to see if/when I lose my mind. :)
I hope you do get some alone time. It's important for mothers to get that. Otherwise they can go nuts.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get that alone time, you deserve it!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty about asking for a break! I've found that spending weeks on end alone with two children is WAY more scary and difficult for myself than one day of playing with the kids is for my husband. I've been on my own for three weeks and already I'm scheming a weekend trip when he returns!
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel you about the me time. Look for a mom's day out, or a spot at the CDC, or a babysitter, or having a friend stay with the kids for a couple of hours. Just having a moment to BREATHE and not have to wipe someone else's butt, to do whatever you want even if it's just sit at a coffee shop with a book, makes it all feel more bearable. (I *may* have parked my almost-3 in front of a video while the baby naps just so I can browse my feedly...)
Ugh - sounds brutal for you and your hubby. I'd surely go insane being with two kids on my own 24/7 for two weeks.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
Whoa. Tough for both of you. I'd be lost without Hubby. I feel bad about him doing labour all day and then me throwing the baby at him while I take a bath. But we gotta do what we gotta do! Hang in.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you. Hope you're getting little breaks here or there.
ReplyDelete