Blur

Everyone told me that adding a second child to my life would be more difficult than when I had one.  I didn't realize just how different my life would be until it happened.  It is exhausting!  It is exhausting to have a newborn, but add a very energetic toddler to the mix and I am out of energy by noon.  I am doing my best to rest when I can.  I feel like the days go by so quickly I can't really enjoy them.  Meeghan is a pretty good baby.  She has had some fussy moments lately, but overall she has been great.  Hannah is showing some signs of jealousy, and she is definitely clingy.  She wants me to put the baby down and play with her every waking moment.  I do what I can to play with her, but I still have household work to do.  Basically, I never really get a moment to myself which I find hard.  I am a person that needs some alone time.  I am  not getting that right now, and it makes me cranky.  I know it is temporary and I repeat that in my head every day.  Since I am pumping instead of breastfeeding, I have to wake up even if the baby is still sleep which is adding to my sleep deprivation.  Right now she has been sleeping since midnight, but I am awake pumping.  I am hoping that I can grab a little more sleep before she wakes up to eat.

Despite the sleep deprivation and having a permanent shadow, I love my girls.  I am working on finding ways to spend some alone time with Hannah so she doesn't feel ignored.  My goal for the next few weeks is to have a few mommy/daughter dates.  I think she will like that, and hopefully it will cut down on her attitude.  Of course, she is two so the attitude may stick around for another year.