3 year olds

I am struggling right now with Hannah. She is acting out in every way, and I can't find a way to stop the behavior. I am tired of hearing no when I ask her to do something. She has become demanding, bossy, and very stubborn. I have tried several discipline methods as well as just talking to her about her behavior. Nothing is getting through to her. It is exhausting. She is even getting physical when she is angry. The other day she intentionally threw a ball at my face when she was one foot from me. My ear was ringing from it. Today she smacked E with a piece of paper after he asked her to pick up her toys in the playroom. It took her 3 hours to clean the playroom. It wasn't even that messy. She just did everything she could to not clean the playroom. I know this is typical 3 year old behavior. I hate it. I really don't like this phase. I know people say they love this stage, but I don't. This is the reason why I am stopping at two kids. I don't want to keep dealing with this developmental stage. I rather be up all night with a newborn. Although she did give me a good laugh tonight when she busted out with the word "ticklef#@k". I asked her where she heard that and she said she made it up. I do my best to watch my language around her, but I guess sometimes words just slip out. She is counting down the weeks until she turns 4, and so am I. Hopefully with turning 4, and going back to preschool, she will start to mature just a bit (or she will continue to be an ornery thing, but smarter).